Methods For Screwing Unhappiness

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 Seeing someone unhappy makes me upset. And I see unhappy people often. At the workplace, in my family, neighborhood, in malls or streets, on television, and on social media.

Many years ago I was attending a self-expression and leadership training program and the course leader (who is now a friend) made a remark which has stayed with me since.

Achieving goals doesn’t make people happy. Happy people achieve goals.

I can’t agree more.

Unhappiness is not just about feelings. It has a HUGE & REAL cost associated with it. It costs results which one could have otherwise produced for their own benefit and for the benefit of others.

Don’t become friends with unhappiness. Don’t tolerate it. SCREW IT ROYALLY!

When someone falls into water, the most important things is not to curse the person or situation which caused the fall. Nor is it most important to feel sorry for oneself. The most important thing is to use all of one's focus, energy, effort, and skills to get out of it.

This is something parents should teach their kids, teachers should teach their students, corporations should teach their employees and states should teach their citizens. The only acceptable attitude towards unhappiness is ruthless combat. Destroy it from the core.

Creating software is my profession. I do it for a living, to solve problems, to express my creativity and to make a difference. But software is not my life. My life is about people. As long as I see unhappy people around, I will keep getting the nagging feeling that I’m failing in my life.

I consider it my responsibility to help people screw their unhappiness. This post is one more step in that direction because I’m not able to reach out to everyone who needs it, in person.

I’m not the inventor of any of the practical techniques listed below but I’m a practitioner and beneficiary of each of these. This is what I use to screw my unhappiness.

The list in no particular order:

1. Express yourself - Whatever you are thinking and feeling, express it in words in as much detail as possible. Either write it down or talk to someone who knows how to listen. Getting it out of the system makes you feel light, think clearly, see fallacies and identify potential actions for resolution. The other person may be able to give you a different perspective which is empowering and suggest solutions.

2. Do things you love - Get back to what you love doing. Writing, reading, cooking, music, dance, painting, sports, gardening, baking, travel - whatever makes you instantly happy. Simple but very effective and most logical way to kill unhappiness. Do it more.

 

Halebidu temple

3. Build your competency - Time and energy spent to becoming better at something (of your choice) is the most worthwhile use of one's time and energy. The high you get when you master a new skill or concept is enough to destroy tons of unhappiness. Become better at something useful and see how unhappiness loses its grip on you. Software Engineers, write a new app or learn/practice a new language whenever you are unhappy.

 Pro-tip: When you are angry or frustrated with someone or something, turn the energy of the emotion inwards to propel yourself to become better at something. Ordinary people turn their anger and frustration outwards (on people or things) to no avail. Masters use it for their benefit.

4. Help others - People who are only about I, Me, Myself deserve to be unhappy. Happiness is the most contagious phenomenon on the planet. Making others happy is one of the easiest and lasting ways for experiencing deep fulfillment and happiness. Most people are not aware of the secret that making others happy and helping others has a 10X effect (sometimes more) on making oneself happy. If you have not made anyone happy or helped anyone recently stop reading this post now and do it. There is no point in passively reading these words.

5. Practice Yoga, Pranayama, and Meditation - I’m blessed to be born in India which has bequeathed an unparalleled and rich spiritual legacy on me. What to say of the Rishis (spiritual scientists) of this sacred land who have researched bliss, consciousness, and peace to its innermost detail centuries ago and left numerous practices and techniques to access them at will. The good news is that one doesn’t have to be born in India or live here to learn about it. By their own virtue and the efforts of spiritual masters old and contemporary, these have spread to all corners of the world. Make use of it. Light dispels darkness and these practices very easily dispel unhappiness.

6. Believe in yourself and uphold your self-esteem - Anything (or anyone) that makes you think low of yourself, shun it (them) as deadly poison.

If it is possible to screw unhappiness by putting effort and get back to a blissful state, why would someone not do it?

The world needs Chief Happiness Officers. In families, communities, corporations and states. Time to be one and create hundreds and thousands more.

PS. Originally published on February 18, 2017 on LinkedIn.

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