Bhagvad Gita and the art of 1/1

 

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The Bhagvad Gita is perhaps one of the most uplifting, inspirational and transformational one-on-one of all times. There are great lessons in the Bhagvad Gita on the art of 1/1.

Before delving into that, a few words on how not to do 1/1 based on my personal experience.

Nolite facere (don't do that)

X did not show up for the meetings. After waiting for some time, I used to ping only to find out X is busy with something and would ask for re-schedule. The pattern repeated even after re-scheduling.

Y canceled the meeting the previous day stating some "valid" reason. Better than X but still not helpful as we could not talk. Even when Y showed up, it was all about Y talking and not listening.

Z had the meeting at the scheduled time and place. However nothing was done about what was discussed in the meeting. I did not walk out feeling empowered, clear or supported. It was like 30 mins or more spent talking to a wall.

For each of the meeting with XYZ, I prepared a list of specific items to discuss and things I needed help with. Wasted effort.

XYZ were great teachers and examples of how not to do 1/1.

In the remainder of the post I want to share how the Bhagvad Gita is a classic example of how to do 1/1.

Empathetic listening

In the entire first chapter of 47 verses, Krishna doesn't utter a single word. He only listens as Arjun goes on and on with his woes, disillusionment, and flawed understanding.

The cup needs to be emptied out before it can be filled with something new.

Start state

However once Arjun acknowledges his problem and asks for help/guidance, Krishna jumps right in to guide.

कार्पण्यदोषोपहतस्वभाव:
पृच्छामि त्वां धर्मसम्मूढचेता: |
यच्छ्रेय: स्यान्निश्चितं ब्रूहि तन्मे
शिष्यस्तेऽहं शाधि मां त्वां प्रपन्नम् || 2.7

I am confused about my duty, and am besieged with anxiety and faintheartedness. I am Your disciple, and am surrendered to You. Please instruct me for certain what is best for me.

End state

The proof of the pudding is in eating and the proof of the 1/1 is in how it ends. The same Arjun who was dis-empowered and disenchanted in the first chapter has conviction and clarity by the end (chapter 18).

नष्टो मोह: स्मृतिर्लब्धा त्वत्प्रसादान्मयाच्युत |
स्थितोऽस्मि गतसन्देह: करिष्ये वचनं तव || 18.73

Arjun said: O Infallible One, by Your grace my illusion has been dispelled, and I am situated in knowledge. I am now free from doubts, and I shall act according to Your instructions. 

Honest straight talk

Good leaders, like good doctors don't mince words. They get to the point and administer the medicine that needs to be given to the patient to cure the ailment. People who are all about niceness, end up making no useful impact. People who truly care can show ruthless compassion by being brutally straight where they need to. They speak to the greatness and potential in you rather than the weakness.

कुतस्त्वा कश्मलमिदं विषमे समुपस्थितम् |
अनार्यजुष्टमस्वर्ग्यमकीर्तिकरमर्जुन || 2.2

The Supreme Lord said: My dear Arjun, how has this delusion overcome you in this hour of peril? It is not befitting an honorable person. It leads not to the higher abodes, but to disgrace.  

क्लैब्यं मा स्म गम: पार्थ नैतत्त्वय्युपपद्यते |
क्षुद्रं हृदयदौर्बल्यं त्यक्त्वोत्तिष्ठ परन्तप || 2.3

O Parth, it does not befit you to yield to this unmanliness. Give up such petty weakness of heart and arise, O vanquisher of enemies. 

The art of questioning

 A great 1/1 is a 2-way communication. 

For a meaningful interaction to happen, the questions need to be sincere and relevant. A sincere question:

• comes from wanting to learn

• is not for showing off or trying to test the teacher

• is relevant to the subject matter being discussed
  

• shows active listening and reflection and is penetrative

The whole of Gita is a series of questions and answers between Arjun and Krishna. Every chapter has one or more questions which forms the backdrop for the sublime knowledge that flows from the lips of Krishna.

As much as I love the answers given by Krishna and the clarity it brings, I'm equally grateful to Arjun for the pointed and reflective questions he asked, which elicited the ultimate knowledge from Krishna.

New perspective

Every great conversation or 1/1 has one thing in common. You walk out with a perspective/paradigm that you didn't have when you walked in. 

Great leaders don't just give you answers. They give you a new set of eyes - a perspective to look at things and that's what causes the transformation. Great leaders teach you how to see things differently.

न तु मां शक्यसे द्रष्टुमनेनैव स्वचक्षुषा |
दिव्यं ददामि ते चक्षु: पश्य मे योगमैश्वरम् || 11.8

But you cannot see My cosmic form with these physical eyes of yours. Therefore, I grant you divine vision. Behold My majestic opulence!

Conclusion

There are lot of practical tips in Gita for how to do impactful 1/1. The fact that Gita has been read for thousands of years, has helped people and bestowed enlightenment to umpteen, shows that the methodology used works.

 

PS: My goto online reference for Gita shlokas and translation is https://www.holy-bhagavad-gita.org by Swami Mukundananda.